The weblog of Darren Friesen

Thursday, March 03, 2005

The things people say

Over the last week Sherryl and I, along with my friend Cathy (who was also let go from Lakeview) have talked to a lot of people about the situation. We have had many people understand the situation; that it is difficult and sad that I've been let go with no notice. To Mike, Todd P., Todd R., Nolan, Brent, Coop, Gloria and Jerry, Vaughn, Dan, I say thanks for knowing what...or what not...to say. There are others...sorry if I missed you.
There are some others (God bless 'em) who have absolutely no clue how to talk to others. They cannot see how this might be a bad thing to have happen. "God will be there for you". "It's exciting, isn't it?" "It's part of God's plan".
Thanks for all that, but we know and believe those things. The problems come in dealing with the lost, the seeming unfairness of it all, and the shock of not seeing this coming. The financial situation we find ourselves in, and the uncertainty about the future. Anyone who thinks that this is fun or a reason ato rejoice has never been in the situation.

13 Comments:

Blogger Jason Silver said...

Yeah, those people usually either:
1. Are thoughtless,
2. Insensitive
3. Have a vested interest in you leaving

I pray you find good in this somehow. Maybe you should come with in Hamilton. We need two pastors right now.
~Jason

6:29 AM

 
Blogger Jason Silver said...

Yeah, those people usually either:
1. Are thoughtless,
2. Insensitive
3. Have a vested interest in you leaving

I pray you find good in this somehow. Maybe you should come with in Hamilton. We need two pastors right now.
~Jason

6:29 AM

 
Blogger Cathy said...

"platitude - n. - a commonplace remark." Commonplace, as in not from the heart or even filtered through the brain - just falls off the tongue. The same things are said at funerals, and since this feels like a death to me, also an appropriate analogy. I know the Phoenix will rise, but I can't be happy someone lit the match.

7:28 AM

 
Blogger Sherri said...

...sorry if anything I've said to any of you has seemed to be a 'platitude' as Cathy put it...I'm genuinely sorry for what you are going through and am genuinely praying for you and your family...this has got to be so hard...forgive me for wishing and praying that God will make something good of this (as His word says)...surely this sounds like a platitude as Cathy says, but trust me, though it may sound commonplace, it is genuine and from the heart.

10:50 AM

 
Blogger Donna said...

Darren,
I was saddened to hear the news. I trust you have sensitive and caring people around you during this terribly difficult time and being surrounded by those that will listen, care and support you, you will find some comfort. I have witnessed this before a little closer to home....it's a tough and challenging walk, rest in grace when you can.

3:49 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darren, I just want to let you know that I love you as a very dear friend. You have sown so much encouragement, love, knowledge and insight into my life Darren. If I can be there for you and your family let me know. You are family to me in more than one way. Your Friend, Scott Epp

12:33 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darren, I just want to let you know that I love you as a very dear friend. You have sown so much encouragement, love, knowledge and insight into my life Darren. If I can be there for you and your family let me know. You are family to me in more than one way. Your Friend, Scott Epp

12:33 AM

 
Blogger Gloria said...

Darren and Sherryl, our thoughts and prayers are with you as we travel...these are not easy days for your family...just remember that you are loved by many and that will never change...your soulmates from New Zealand Jerry and Gloria

2:54 AM

 
Blogger Christy said...

Darren:

I remember when Colin was laid off originally in 1998, someone from church actually told me we should use the time void of work to take a vacation! A few minutes later in that conversation, that person mentioned their maid in passing, so it became clear they had little clue what the reality of my life was at the best of times. ;) So I could relate to your post.

May God hold you in his hand, give you hope and show you with great clarity what the future holds for your family.

Christy

11:59 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think most (if anyone) is intentionally being uncaring, hurtful or insensitive. On the contrary.

Where some show compassion, others will show hope. Where some show mercy, others show strength.

Perhaps some comments may seem out of line at this moment but look at them in a month or two and you will see them making sense.

Sure this is a difficult time for you and your family and we all feel for you. But like, we all have had hardships in our lives and many will express to you that these troubled times are only temporary and life will continue on and things do get better.

We all hope and wish the best for you and your family - and not to seem unsympathetic, you and your family will overcome this and do great things.

God bless you and your family.

10:39 AM

 
Blogger Wendy Cooper said...

I won't tell you how to feel. Being rejected sucks, being told that you should be happy and peaceful about it sucks even more. I heard a comment once about dealing with well intentioned dragons. I know that sometimes people just want things to look positive no matter what. Problem is sometimes they really aren't. You are in our thoughts.

8:56 AM

 
Blogger Becky said...

As a preacher's kid, I can recognize those very same sentiments -- and can remember hearing them told to my father after he was "let go" from his position at the church.

This is hard, admittedly hard. But God is still in control, and things do work out for the good. (even if it seems a long time coming!)

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

2:43 AM

 
Anonymous Arthur Dash said...

We've never met, Darren, but I linked to your site through someone else. I just want you to know that we (my wife and I) will be praying for you and your family and the other people affected by this.
Go in peace, knowing that you are loved and appreciated.

12:20 AM

 

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