Some of you have noticed that I haven't been writing here much at all lately. I have intended to, but haven't had the strength or desire. My depression seems to have it's way with me these days. I am lethargic, frustrated, and muddled much of the time. This reaks havoc on family life, work, and all else that is around me. There are moments that are clear, but mostly I am in a fog, not knowing what to do next, not knowing how to take the next step to where I should be.

For those of you who have dealt with/are dealing with depression, you know what I mean. For those of you who (fortunately) have not entered this realm, I know that it is hard to understand. People don't get why you can't just "get up and do what you need to do". That's the thing; you can't. The brain knows intellectually what needs to happen (i.e. - do the laundry, make a phone call, etc.) but the "why should I" doesn't make any sense. Some of it has to do with my own attitudes, or the circumstances I find myself in, but there is no ability to push through that, to believe in yourself and that what you do actually matters. And so you just sit...and think (not clearly, mind you)...and sit some more.

And because of this, there is guilt...lots of guilt. "if only I could...". "I should...".

I would appreciate your thoughts on this. Do you you suffer from depression? How do you cope?

I recently had the chance to meet and visit with Diana Pops, a singer/songwriter from Winnipeg. She is a wonderful young woman who is very talented and has an amazing voice. One of her songs has been flowing through my head.

Turning Around
- Diana Pops

True love is silent (still letters 'til you fall)
But who knows where the time goes when you stay the hard road?

I hope now to be softer
I hope now to be lovely
I hope now something better is just around the corner

I, I listen to me hurt
I tear my self apart
I break my own heart
I'm going to start turning around
any day now

Truth is I'm just lonely, but seeing as I'm never left alone
Who knows where my love shows up in lives I've never known?

I hope now to be softer
I hope now to be lovely
I hope now something better is just around the corner

I, I listen to me hurt
I tear myself apart
I break my own heart
I'm going to start turning around
any day now

globeandmail.com : Cockburn hailed as the 'Bono of Canada'

Recently I spoke out a bit about Cockburn's music on the Faithmaps Yahoo group. I think he is one of Canada's greatest musical treasures, and this award should go to no other.